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 Okay, I've been a really good girl, and losing weight.  A lot of weight.  Over 70lbs - go me!  So, time for an updated pic of what my hubby affectionately calls - a stick with boobs.  Enjoy all! 

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Borrowed from a couple of my friends.....

1. First Name:  Deanna

2. Age:  41

3. Location:  Loveseat (shared with my dog Ducati) in my living room in Mechanicsburg, PA

4. Occupation:  Asst manager for a retail store, Christopher and Banks

5. Partner?   Yep, Jeff, my lovely mate of 21 years....

6. Kids?  David, 20 and Elysa 18

7. Brothers/Sisters:  one brother, age 36; three sisters, age 38, 25 and 24

8. Pets:  just one, my American Pit Bull Ducati

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
a.  Getting my pain meds and psych meds working correctly together
b.  Getting my SSD approved
c.  Getting a new roof on my house 
d.  Getting the rest of the money to send my daughter to college this fall

10. What did you go to school for?
I didn't.   I wanted to go premed, and prepped for this all through high school, but didn't have the money or the guidence to get to college.

11. Parents?
Mom lives 15 mins away.  Lost dad in February. 

12) Who are some of your closest friends?
offline:  Annette, Chris, Bette, Paula, Joycey

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Chocolate = Love....

For all of my chocoholic friends, I'm here to pass the word on about a new truffle maker, based in Oregan, who is starting up her truffle business.  She uses ganache centers, very flavor infused, and also offers homemade marshmallows. 

I ordered a box from her second pre-sale, called the 7 deadly sins plus One.  The plus one was a hazlenut/frangelica white chocolate ganache covered in milk chocolate.  My absolute favorite of her flavors so far is her Envy truffle.  Key lime and candied ginger in white chocolate ganache, covered with a thick layer of milk chocolate.  Her ganache is thick, creamy, and flavored excellently, while the chocolate coating is nice and thick, and has a really nice snap and mouthfill.   Her Sloth truffle is also to die for, with a peanut butter and rum ganache center.  I scarfed down the whole box of truffles in record time - and, they are not small.  They run about twice the size of a Godiva truffle.  Speaking of which, I was craving another Envy truffle so badly, that when I had finished her box off, I went to my local store that carries single Godiva truffles, and bought three of their key lime truffles, thinking that perhaps they would tide me over to her next sale.  They were in fact, sadly disappointing after hers.  The center was too runny, and the chocolate coating way too thin. 

She is now runnning her fourth pre-launch sale.  All of her pre-launch sales are for her to raise capital to launch her website, and to work out logistics.  Whatever the reason, I'm waiting on my box from her third sale, and I've already ordered from her fourth!!  

Her LiveJournal handle is coffeeinhell , her blog about the chocolates is found at http://polidorichocolates.typepad.com/, and may I suggest you order a box or 30?  If you don't like them, by all means send them on to me....but sadly, I don't think that will be the case!

I'm the one.....

I'm the one in red..........
We went to see the Star Wars Exhibit at the Franklin Institute Museum in Philly last weekend.....it was really cool, had costumes and models and props used from all 6 movies, along with clips of interviews from the actors, crew, director, and anyone who was involved with the movie.  They told about inspiration, how certain things got created....it was all really cool.  C3PO was always one of my favorite characters......Jeff took this pic of us.  He's not the jealous type.  Also, you can see my 57 lb weight loss pretty well in this pic, or so I think.  Anyone else see it?  I've only got 50ish lbs to go! 

Love to all!!

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(no subject)

 And moving on.......we're looking at buying a gaming system.  

Now, we're kinda old school.  We've had the original Nintendo, original Nintendo Game Boy, Sega Genesis, and Sega's handheld game that I can't remember the name of.  We also got a PS2 when they came out. 

The kids always used them more than us, and our son took them all with him when he moved out. 

So, we're looking for suggestions.  The only requirement is that you must be able to play Guitar Hero on it.   Jeff tends to like shooting games and racing games, like the Star Wars games and Doom and such.  I always liked Tetris, and would be open to learning just about anything. 

Suggestions on your system of choice, and why......and feel free to recommend a couple of favorite games for that system!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.....

I'm working now - I think I mentioned it before. I've worked a total of three days, last Friday for 4 hours, Monday day for 8 hours, and last night for 9 hours. Both Tuesday and today I had major problems getting out of bed at all, plus major pain flares. Plus, I really like the people I'm working with, and the job itself~and don't want to have to quit already.

Since SSD is still being the pants (I just got my lawyer's draft of the final appeal, and it sounds good, but....) we really need the extra money. My car is going to start falling apart, Elysa starts college and needs help paying her room and board...and our budget's tight. We can get by on Jeff's income, but no money for extras like a car payment, or a vacation other than staying at home. But, if I can't move or function on my days off, I just don't know if it's going to be worth it....

All of this is making my depression flare really high.....to the point where I've been weeping off and on all day, and when dh Jeff came home, I lashed all of this out at him, now he's pissed at my family, and wants to dump the whole thing in my brother's lap - but he's pissed at me 'cause I threw it all at him as soon as he got home, and threw off our swimming schedule, and his evening plans......

I could just.........hurt myself over this. I know its wrong, I swear I'm not here for sympathy, I just don't have anyone else around who understands and can get what I'm going through. I HATE feeling like this, I hate living like this, it just all sucks. And, I don't know what to do.....  

Sorry people.....

I need to rant, and this is the best place for me to do it.....especially since the jerks I have to call family aren't on here.....

Here's the post from MySpace that pissed me off: 

SRY Kelli, u forgot to mention how Sad & PATHETIC they are!
Body: **to STEAL from your own family? Ya I guess you feel like you're the only "bill" that needs to be paid, who do you think you are, & PLEASE share with us ALL WHY you feel like you are so special & ENTITLED to receive payment BEFORE the FUNERAL home?! You're both SICK & PATHETIC, I really hope it was worth it, because when it's over & done with you will only have each other, scarey thought HUH?!* ORIGINAL POST-> SOME PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK! Sorry if you thought this was something to repost, this is just a vent. I am extremely pissed off at this point. As all of you know I lost my Dad in Feb, well he didn't leave us with much, other than some bills and a funeral to pay for. As far as the bills go I and most of my family have accepted them as a loss and dropped it. The funeral was to be paid for by us selling dads items such as his cars and some personal things, well as things have been being sold such as one of his cars, no money has showed up at the funeral home and I guess not all of it is going too from what I have been told. Well there are 5 of us kids and we had all sat down and agreed that whatever sold went to pay for the funeral first, not to pay some bills that shouldn't even be an issue yet. I am sick and tired of liars and so far thats all I see with some of this family. I don't really care what they do but they sure have some nerve, but I NEVER put it past them because I haven't trusted a word from there mouths in years and neither does the rest of the family, there scum in my eyes and hope they know Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around and I can't wait to laugh in there faces when it happens. I want nothing to do with that part of this family. At this point unless your a complete idiot you know who you are so do me a favor and don't contact me at all EVER AGAIN!! Once again to all who read this I am just pissed that there are family members who are this way.....
Here's what I posted there......
This is why I don't get on this site very often. People say one thing in real life, and turn around and change everything around to suit themselves on paper.
Truth: two cars were to be sold to help pay for my dad's funeral bills. One of the two cars was given to a member of the family who has a used car lot, and lots of exposure. Car value via KBB and NADA is $1800-2500, the family agreed not to take less than $1500. Was told the car was posted on Craigs list - craigs list was checked daily and it was never posted there. Was asked repeatedly for the title because if a sale came in it was to be done quickly - but was also told repeatedly there was no interest, except for two $500 offers. Car was moved off lot after family member got angry and told us to move it, he was done trying to help. Or was he done trying to scam us, by selling the car for more, and only telling us $500??
Second car was sold - money was used to pay off a garage bill for a car that was scrapped, even though there was no valid title to the car, and the car was going to be fixed and sold. The sibling that took the money from the security deposit did that, for money to leave town. Anoher $220 went to pay off cell phone bill, including $80+ overages in phone bill caused by that sibling. $200 is sitting here to go to the funeral home.
Funny that one of the 5 kids has taken the family for $475 security deposit, and for a $89 gas bill that has to be paid by us, but no one cares, and wants to do anything about it.
Funny that even though the VA has not yet paid anything, I'm being called a thief. Funny that even though I'm on long-release synthetic morphine patches, psych meds and anxiety meds, I have to go back to work so we can pay our bills on time, yet I'm taking from the rest of the family.

My mother owes me $1000 since 2004
My brother owes me $4000+ since 2003
Nothing has ever been said to my brother, and we've basically written it off as a lost cause, because they simply don't have it, and we know that. But when we take money that my husband spoke to my brother about, and they AGREED to have that bill paid, we're thieves. All part of how you look at things, I guess.

As for everyone being done with us, it's not like anyone ever gave us the time of day anyway. Phone calls went to vm, calls weren't returned, if we were invited to an event it's usually 'cause someone slipped up and told us about it, and we HAD to be invited. And people wonder why I've always had problems with my family.........
Seriously LJ, you have no idea how many times people have said 'did so and so call you?' and the answer is always .  'Are you going to so and so's for such and such?' Nope, wasn't invited. 

I'm just so hurt and pissed off.  I told my hubby Jeff when my brother came over to get a copy of the death certificate, and brought up the nursing home charges, that they were being accusatory.  He told me I was being overly sensitive, and he didn't think they were.  Guess who was right?  
And what really pisses me off is the fact that I made sure EVERYONE was including in the planning, and let people override me on some things that I felt strongly about, because I wanted to make sure everyone had a say and was happy with the outcome.  No one else volunteered to deal with any of this mess.  Here's the really sad part:  Dad's bills?  Here they are: 

Car repair - $150
Phone bill - $228 (because of my sister's overages)€
Owed to my sister K - $85
Tires to used car lot ran by brother in law - $105 (and he insists that it was written off as a bad debt)
Funeral bill - $2880

As far as I know, that's it.  His rent, cable and electric were paid in full at the time of his passing.  We've rec'd $500ish towards his funeral expenses from family and friends.  The VA is supposed to pay an additional $750 or so.  The car repair and the phone bill are now paid.  I'd gladly pay my sister, if she gave me the time of day.  Instead of bashing me on MySpace. 
This really, really sucks.  I miss my dad.  I know that my sister K has always been pissed because dad always turned to me, and we spent a lot of time together, and she felt slighted.  She's always got to be 'the princess' and be better than all of the rest of us.
I also know that supposedly there's an account that has $25K in it, in dad and my step mom's name.  I know that I've contacted their tax preparers, two banks, and most of their employers, and the money can't be found, where I can find it anyway.  My brother and his wife made a snide remark when they came over about K having a lead on the money.  And, I just know that all this damn animosity is because they all thought dad had all this money stashed away that we were going to be getting, and there's nothing there.  My brother is also going to get a rude awakening because if the money is primary in my step mom's name, I can guarentee that the two youngest siblings (whose mother it was) is going to cut out the three oldest of us.  That's just the way they are. 

AAAARRRGGGHHHH!  I so don't need this!  I am struggling SO HARD with the  new job, and basically spending my non-work days in bed to recover from the work days!!  This all sucks!!!!
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From a nudge.....

Hiya Anne!  Love to you and Ronka.....

Okay, how the freak to update this.......so much has happened and is happening......

My dad passed away on February 15, from a heart attack.  He passed out in his hallway, and my sister (who was living with him) heard him.  She called 911 and started CPR, but he never regained consciousness.  it was also the morning of my 21st wedding anniversary.  

Since I'm the oldest of the 5, I got to be the head of the family and take care of all of the arrangements, and contact the OOS family....and now I get to listen to everyone bitch and moan that I'm not doing enough to help pay off the funeral home debt, even though no one else seems to be lifting a finger, other than to complain that I'm not getting enough money from the things that we're selling, or to request paperwork from me.  Dad didn't have much, he had gotten rid of just about everything when my step mom Linda died in 2003.  It's just getting tiring......

My baby Pit Bull Ducati is doing well, she's almost 8 months old....she's such a darling! 

SSD turned me down from the ALJ hearing.  We're appealing the final decision (which is also the final appeal) but I'm not hopeful at this point.  It just sucks - I try and not go to the dr or take a lot of meds, and because I don't, they don't feel that I'm as bad as I say I am.  Which is why I'm now on a time release synthetic morphine patch just to get through the day.....but hey, they know better, right? 

Which brings me to my latest news - I got a job.  We're doing okay on Jeff's income, but I'm going to need a new (at least new to me) car in the next year or  two, because mine is giving us problems (we just had a $1700 repair bill).  Also, with Elysa starting college in the fall, that's going to strap our income.  And Jeff would like us to be able to take a couple of nice vacations, and travel a little, while I'm still fairly mobile.  So.....I went in and applied for a part time job in a clothing store called Christopher and Banks.  They reviewed my information, and called me and asked me if I would like to work full time hours.  They ended up hiring me for an Assistant Manager position.  It's not as glamourous as it sounds, 'cause it's a small company.  But, it's 38-40 hours a week, at $10 an hour, so I can start putting almost all of the money back so that I can get a car, and we can take a vacation where we leave the house...

Worked my first full day yesterday - boy did I ache and hurt when I got home!  Bonus?  I slept like a rock!!  I'm shooting to keep this job for 3-5 years.  If I can do that, we'll have enough money to get my car and go on a couple of nice vacations, plus I'll be able to see a dr regularly through this time, and I'll be able to reapply for SSD.  So it should work out for the best!  

I've got nothing else right now....but I'll try and keep more updated!!  
Oh!  And, as soon as I've gotten settled into a routine, I'll now be able to join WoW!! 
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